my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
