were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
