You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
