how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
