I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize