just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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