i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Every concussion has its silver lining
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize