Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she told me i tasted like america
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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