I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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