there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
