After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize