I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
