"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
