a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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