She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
