She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
