Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
third nipple confirmed
MIDGETS
????
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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