I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
