I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
