you traded sex for a burrito?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
