the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
