Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
