Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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