The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
