My balls are so social today.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
