youre lurking in front of me
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
