Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
