Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
