That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
