Duck Duck Cougar?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize