we have officially lost it.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
