I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
