we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
