Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
