I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
