come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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