how can u be prego again
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
