Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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