im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
