I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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