You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
