It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
