At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
