Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
