ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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