I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
