I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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