You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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