this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I've blown a few things in my day
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
