He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize
