nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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