yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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