You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize