Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
