You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
