I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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