well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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