I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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