i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize