How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
