Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize