you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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