i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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