Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
